As a recently baptized (in a rum-based holy water) tikiphile, I've made it my mission to hit as many tiki bars in as many places as possible. I was excited at the prospect of checking out how the Polynesian pops on this side of the Atlantic since I'm in Milan and Paris for business.I shouldn't have been.

According to Critiki, both cities are a barren wasteland devoid of my preferred brand of kitsch, and Critiki's creator Humuhumu even asks "Where's the Tiki in France" in her blog -- two years ago.
Which means I'll need to cowboy up and live off the memories of my last great tiki experience -- a trip to Frankie's Tiki Room in Las Vegas.
What's not to like about an off-the-Strip, authentically outfitted tiki bar open 24 hours a day? Especially one that serves a drink called the Tiki Bandit in a mug (from Tiki Farm) in the shape of a one-armed bandit?

I actually opted out of that one on favor of a Thurston Howl -- described thusly: "a powerful explosion of rum, brandy, gin and Pernod. A couple of these and Lovely Howell will look like Ginger Grant." (Who doesn't love a booze-related "Gilligan's Island" reference?)
The mug it was served in was a tiki with red dice for eyes -- similar to the one gracing the entrance. It kind of reminds me of the way I feel after a night in Vegas. (My own Ginger Grant brought home the Bearded Clam mug, realizing only later the situation it depicted involving a decidedly NSFW hula girl).
But, until I get back "in country" I'll have have to live off those Sin City memories.
Frankie's Tiki Room, 712 W. Charleston, Las Vegas (702) 385-3110.
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