Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Berry Happy!

Stopping by the Larchmont Bean this morning to meet a publicist, I was surprised to find that Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf has listened to the demands of the people and brought back our beloved Swedish Berries tea. It had been retired from packaged sales earlier this year, shortly after I'd honed my iced tea making skills, but curiously was still being sold as a prepared beverage.
This caused great sadness in my Bean-centric extended family and we were forced to scour the countryside looking for any last remaining cache.
Out of habit, I asked my barista who obligingly pointed to the top shelf behind me. She said customer clamor led to the return.
To all those who let their discontent be known, I salute you!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Shake and Bake Tuesday

Apparently the pot-smoking pineapple billboards weren't the end of the viral marketing campaign advertising the new stoner buddy flick "The Pineapple Express." At approximately 11:42 a.m. Tuesday morning, a 5.8 earthquake centered in Chino Hills, Calif., shook the West Coast and was reportedly felt as far away as San Francisco and Las Vegas.
Moments after the temblor, Sony Pictures issued a press release claiming credit for the quake as part of the viral marketing campaign for the movie, the highest budget pot film ever made. "Yes, it was us. We thought a 'shake and bake Tuesday' would be the perfect way to highlight our new movie," said Danny Greenbud, director of marketing for the film. "Which, by the way comes out tomorrow night!"
Greenbud said the studio had initially wanted to unleash the shaker at 4:20 p.m. today. "That really would have blown a few minds," he said with a chuckle and long, slow exhale.
Plans were changed at the last minute, he said, when the USGS cautioned that freeways would be most congested at that hour.
"You win some, you lose some," Greenbud said with a shrug. "But look at it this way -- now you've got the rest of the day to get your head straight. And if you think that was an earthquake, wait 'til you see Seth Rogen and James Franco at your local theater."

Producers of "Tropic Thunder" couldn't be reached for comment that they were similarly planning a monsoon to heighten awareness for their movie, which hits theaters a week after "Pineapple."

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Waves of Words

This is new to the Riff -- my navel-gazing 'bot at Google Alerts tipped me off to a poem posted on the Internet that was inspired by my recent LA Lookback in the Image section.
The Riff was apparently a poet and didn't even know it -- for reals.

Riff's Guest Rage

In case you missed the Riff's guest-spot on his favorite co-worker blog back in June, here's a link.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Tippin' a 40 of Maalox

The Los Angeles Times is reporting that "Golden Girls" actress Estelle Getty has shuffled off to the great communal living facility in the sky. Too bad, she was always the Riff's favorite "Golden Girl," because she didn't mind playing the old dingbat mother of a husky woman two month her senior.
You might say her passing has left us a bit "Maude-lin."

Monday, July 21, 2008

Salmonella Is So Hot Right Now!

Put down the pepper and step away from the salsa. Apparently all this tomato-bashing has been for naught. My blog-in-law (if I just coined that term, I want royalties) sends word that the FDA has traced the recent salmonella outbreak to jalapeƱo peppers.
This is sad since the pepper in all its sweat-inducing varieties is practically the Riff's national food, but the Riff is also a borderline psychotic optimist so how about weaponizing some of the hot badness into a pepper spray?
Would you mess with someone in a dark alley if you thought that you'd end up with stinging eyes, burning skin AND a three-week bout of possibly deadly intestinal distress?

Thursday, July 17, 2008

What, No "The Bitch is Blackberry"?

My former employer at the Manchester, Vt., Ben & Jerry's scoop shop (let's just call him "Dr. J") sent along news that in honor of Elton John's first concert in the Green Mountain State (apparently Captain Fantastic has performed in all other 49), Ben & Jerry's has created a limited edition flavor called, wait for it, "Goodbye Yellow Brickle Road."
Kudos Ben, and hats off to you Jerry, but that's kind of phoning it in, don't you think? I mean, this is the company that's given us flavors like Ethan Almond, Cherry Garcia and Vermonty Python. I came up with a few alternatives riffing my way home from work today. Among them:

"I Guess That’s Why They Call it the Bluesberry"

"Caramel In the Wind"

"Hakuna Malt-ata"

"Bennie and the Jet-Puffed"

"Cookie Dough-n’t Go Breaking My Heart"

Got any suggestions? Feel Free to post ''em.