A Bigger Bonk -- Stones Guitarist Falls From Tree

On vacation in Fiji, Rolling Stone guitarist Keith Richards suffered a concussion after falling out of a palm tree he allegedly climbed in pursuit of coconuts.
Already accustomed to being out of his tree, Richards -- a cigarette still dangling from his lips -- continued to play "Jumpin' Jack Flash" according to witnesses at the scene.
In an unrelated story, a spider monkey has been arrrested for heroin possession after arriving at London's Heathrow Airport. Authorities discovered the illicit drugs after the monkey began flinging its feces at Stones frontman Mick Jagger while disembarking from an Air New Zealand flight.