Climate Change, Not Humans, Killed Wooly Mammoths

After an apparent mix-up in identification by key witnesses, mankind is released with an apology from authorities as an arrest warrant is issued for the rogue weather systems. "It blows hot and cold," LAPD Chief Bill Bratton said of the climate. "And officers should take every precaution. You never know which way the wind blows." He encouraged officers to dress in layers and bring a change of shoes when approaching the suspect.